The Da Vinci Cola ... in stores 12/12/12 (twice as evil)

I got to see The Da Vinci Code last Sunday, and for those of you who've yet to "be a part of it," be thankful. I hardly understand why people are so up in arms about this movie. I understand the implications of the movie and how easily--if proven true, of course--these ideas could destroy Christianity as we know it. But these ideas are nothing new.

Maybe I watch an unhealthy amount of The History Channel, but I knew that there are theories that Mary Magdalene was Jesus' lover, that they had a kid, and that the Knights Templar and Priory of Zion supposedly protected the Holy Grail, or the "Holy Bloodline," since the birth of Jesus' daughter, Sarah.

Why would this be so earth-shattering? Well, of course it would mean that whomever carried the blood of Christ would be holy, and it would make Mary Magdalene a holy figure, kinda fucking up this whole monotheistic ideal (because Jesus is only God in the flesh, right?).

So instead of watching a intellectually provocative movie, all I could think about the entire two-and-some-odd hours was how bad I wanted to bone the chick that co-starred with Tom Hanks, as well as how bad Tom Hanks needed to cut his hair. He looked like and hippie trying to clean up for an interview or something. Nasty shit.
Look at her. ... Totally do-able.
See, since I've had some extra time on my hands lately, I've been catching up on movies I've missed. Before going to see The Omen on 6/6/06, the last time I'd been to the movies was to see King Kong. I finally got to see Capote and Crash, both of which were better than I could have imagined.

I'm outta here. All hail the Lord, Bob Saget.

My favorite time of year

That's my dawg, Samir. Tell 'em who's the boss. (Don't forget to tell yourself, too.)
I love the NBA Playoffs, but that's not why this is my favorite time of year. The playoffs have nothing on the goddamn National Spelling Bee. Talk about thrilling television. I'm picking Samir Patel to go all the way.

Watch it tonight if you get a chance. There's Bonny Jain, who recently won the National Geographic Bee (I think that's what it's called) and who thinks he knows everything, and I'm hoping to see him cry like the little bitch that he is by the end of the second round.

Usually for the spelling bee, I'll pick a white kid to go all the way because it's like rooting for the underdog. Caitlin Campbell is showing some promise, and she shares my last name, but I like this Patel kid. I don't know what it is, but I think he's got it. He's one of those spelling bee kids that's in his own fucking world, and every time he gets a word right, he runs to his chair, nearly knocking everyone off the stage it seems, and commences to talk to himself. If that doesn't spell W-I-N-N-E-R, I don't know what does.

I'm almost saddened when I watch this competition, though. I understand how hard these kids work for the chance to win, but honestly--you know what, I'm not even gonna say it. I'll just say that, if they were my kids, I'd pressure them to do other things that learn Greek roots, like maybe pressuring them to learn social skills, or telling them that talking to yourself is not normal, despite what many think. Social skills will take you a lot further in life than being able to spell "suivez."

Right?