6.14.2006

The Da Vinci Cola ... in stores 12/12/12 (twice as evil)

I got to see The Da Vinci Code last Sunday, and for those of you who've yet to "be a part of it," be thankful. I hardly understand why people are so up in arms about this movie. I understand the implications of the movie and how easily--if proven true, of course--these ideas could destroy Christianity as we know it. But these ideas are nothing new.

Maybe I watch an unhealthy amount of The History Channel, but I knew that there are theories that Mary Magdalene was Jesus' lover, that they had a kid, and that the Knights Templar and Priory of Zion supposedly protected the Holy Grail, or the "Holy Bloodline," since the birth of Jesus' daughter, Sarah.

Why would this be so earth-shattering? Well, of course it would mean that whomever carried the blood of Christ would be holy, and it would make Mary Magdalene a holy figure, kinda fucking up this whole monotheistic ideal (because Jesus is only God in the flesh, right?).

So instead of watching a intellectually provocative movie, all I could think about the entire two-and-some-odd hours was how bad I wanted to bone the chick that co-starred with Tom Hanks, as well as how bad Tom Hanks needed to cut his hair. He looked like and hippie trying to clean up for an interview or something. Nasty shit.
Look at her. ... Totally do-able.
See, since I've had some extra time on my hands lately, I've been catching up on movies I've missed. Before going to see The Omen on 6/6/06, the last time I'd been to the movies was to see King Kong. I finally got to see Capote and Crash, both of which were better than I could have imagined.

I'm outta here. All hail the Lord, Bob Saget.

4 comments:

Lindsay said...

Hello, just checking in on ya. All I've to say about the Da Vinci Code is that I didn't even read the book but I happened to guess every fucking "twist" in the movie before it happened which was worse than Tom's hair.

Anonymous said...

as of september 19, 2006, i'm checking the blog daily in hopes of more mormon bashing, jailhouse rocking, bob sageting, and lacrosse raping. don't disappoint.

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