This bitch is fake.
Subject: [Insert 30 seconds of thinking up a vapid subject line.]
OK, this is gonna be sort of a serious post. Who am I kidding? It's serious, but not a dark post, mind you. I had a friend, whom I dearly care for (and wish she hated frat boys), question me yesterday. Here's what she said:
"[J]ust read your blog.... catching up on the newest post and the ones I hadn't yet read. You are a strange kid, you know that, right? The thing is - I think only part of it is an 'act' of sort. You and I have had conversations that don't follow this persona that I see on there. I'm not saying you are being fake, I don't think you truly could be, at least not for an extended amount of
time. Maybe you have me fooled. ..."
Pretty strong words, huh? And I love that I have friends that would say stuff like that to me. It lets me know that they care about me. Anyway, here was my response:
"I totally understand your stance. Maybe I am fake every once in a while, but when you really think about it, aren't we all a little fake every now and then? I started the blog for one outstanding reason: a place to release, without censorship, my thoughts on everything. I don't do that always in public and around my friends for various and obvious reasons. One, I don't want to alienate myself from people I care about, like you.
"I don't necessarily think you'd agree with me on a bunch of stuff, so I don't talk about it. If that's being fake, then that's what I am. Hell, my own mother still doesn't understand why I always come up with a bullshit excuse to avoid going to Christmas Eve services every year. I'd rather her not know some of my views because, frankly, I don't want to hurt or scare her—or even worse, make her think she failed as a parent, which is exactly what I think she would believe."
For those of you I've met in person, I generally am a pretty mild guy, just as long as I don't start hearing Christian rock or George Bush speaking. I don't want everyone to know everything about me. Like Kurt Cobain said on the cover of his journals, "If you read, you'll judge." Simple, but true—especially in Arkansas.
Oftentimes, I don't want to know EVERYthing about other people. I may judge them, too, in a subconscious way, therefore causing problems that didn't have to arise. Call me fake. Where I live, my views aren't exactly welcome. I'm not scared. I just pick my battles. What's so wrong with that?