Subject: [Insert 30 seconds of thinking up a vapid subject line.]
"I'm committed to strengthening our relationship with the UAE [United Arab Emirates] and explaining why it's important to Congress and the American people." --George Bush
Thanks, George. 'Preciate it. I'm so glad you are taking your sweet ass time to explain why things are important to me, a member of the American people. I'm eternally grateful for your dumbing down to explain things to Congress and me. Without you, I'd be lost.
He reminds me of a third grade teacher trying to explain the difference between apples and oranges.
Bush: "You see, Amurrica, apples are red. Oranges, on the other hand, are orange. See the difference?"
The classroom responds collectively: "Yes, Mister Bush."
Bush: "Good, now go do something good for your country. You kids know that towel-head in Ms. Hoover's class? Kick his ass at recess, OK?"
Classroom: "Yes, Mister Bush."
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In other news, MC Hammer announced today that he is gay.
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Have any of you gotten a chance to watch Walk the Line yet? I thought it was a pretty good movie. I think I went into it, though, expecting way too much. I wasn't let down, but I guess my expecations were brought back down to earth. All I could think about the whole movie was how sexy Reese Witherspoon sounds with a twangy voice. Talk to daddy, Reese. Talk to daddy.