Dick Cheney, My Hero!

To: All
From: Chas
Date: Monday, Feb. 13, 2006
Subject: Forgotten Rules

Has the media gone completely mad over Dick Cheney's recent hunting mishap?

Sure, he didn't have a completed license and the amount of walking he was doing may have blown his knees out, forever, but come on... he's the VP!

Can you imagine what Teddy Roosevelt would have done to some punk ass reporter probing into one of his "accidental" misfires during the Spanish American War? Trust me, they happened. And they probably weren't accidents...

If some choad ever questioned the Bull Moose Party in front of Teddy, he'd string him up by the balls and skin him alive! That's the way things were done back then -- the good ol' days.

So why can't we still extend this common courtesy to today's elected officials? Let's face it, even though they're supposed to be held to the same standards as everyone else, they're not us... they're better!

We need those old, crusty white men deucing on golden toilets, banging their secretaries in the Bahamas and keeping the hegemony alive. Without them our way of life would be in total jeopardy, leaving the world to be run by lesser-thans.

True Americans wouldn't ask Cheney what he was thinking... they'd ask him if he needed more ammo!

Mr. Vice-President, come quail hunting with me in South Dakota. If it's human blood you crave, I've got all the Mennonites you can handle and over 2,000 acres on which to massacre them.


Anonymous said...

You are one crazy son of a bitch!

Lindsay said...

Ah, the hilarity.

Chas said...

Hilarity? I mean it, darnnit!