Sex tape Friday ... that sounds stupid.

Atheists 1 ... Christians negative-666
To: You
From: Guess
Date: Duh
Subject: [Insert 30 seconds of thinking up a vapid subject line.]

Anybody hear about the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape? This is fucking awesome. I love seeing shitty musicians fail. I've always kinda liked Kid Rock, the guy, not the musician. He just reminds me of a lot of my friends and seems like he'd be a cool guy to get drunk with. Scott Stapp, though. He's an ass pirate. And it's even better that now he's officially a Christian rock guy.

Is that not the biggest oxymoron? Christian rock. Or Chrisitan industrial. Christian rap. Puuuhlease.

It's confession time. I actually paid the money to go see Creed when I was about 15. I know, that's super duper ass pirate-y of me, but hey, what can i say? I'm sorry? I still, to this day, defend my stance that I like their drummer (or former drummer) Scott Phillips. He's fuckin' bad. I never liked Scott Stapp, though. He reminded me of a pussy frat-boy-wanna-be that slaps his girlfriend and looks at kiddie porn. And I always thought he was ambiguously gay.

Read the story, it's fucking hilarious.The journalist has to point out in the story that Kid Rock and Stapp didn't engage in sexual acts with each other. He thinks he's gay, too.

I have a retarded joke: What's the difference between a crackhead and a crystal meth addict?

Answer: A crackhead will steal your shit and run. ... A meth addict will steal your shit and help you look for it.


Lindsay said...

It's sad, but I have Human Clay lurking around here somewhere... It was only coz I didn't have better taste in 1999, I was 14 and coming off the Backstreet Boys, go figure.

Chas said...

I don't understand... Christian rock isn't cool? It spreads the Good Word! Still, I think you're on to something. He does look like a guy that only wishes he could have been in a fraternity. I was in one. Trust me, Mr. Stapp wouldn't have survived... not even the cut. We had a fellow "like him" in our house. A little light in his loafers. So, we shoved a broomstick up his ass while giving each other high-fives. I'll never forget the squeeling sounds we made him belt at the top of his lungs. Yeah, he was totally gay.